Therapy for:
empaths, therapists
& those taken for granted
that you could teach a course on empathy, yet you struggle to receive this same gift you generously give away to others.
In your tios and tias eyes, you seem happy and to be living a good life. You did things "the right way." You went to school, became a first-generation college graduate, and you defied the odds.
This work as a therapist is so near and dear to your heart.
Being a therapist requires you to hold a lot-the good, bad and terrible things that happened to people. You’ve noticed that your relationships at work and off the clock feel one-sided.
Your loved ones only reach out to you when they need something, which results in you feeling alone and unfulfilled. Not only do you feel deeply and are highly sensitive, but sometimes you end up absorbing other people's feelings and feel compelled to take care of them.
Nevertheless, at times you love being the go-to person.
If only you could see yourself the same way you see others, would looking inward to tend to your basic needs as a human being be possible.
You’re such a pro at being there for everyone else
You’ve woken up several times in the middle of the night and can’t help but overthink everything. It feels like they cut your oxygen and someone twisted your gut while your heart pounds faster.
Your inner critic ruthlessly provides an inventory of all the ways you don't measure up and anxiety plots how to steal your peace.
The following morning, the stressful urgency and burden of checking everything off your to-do list becomes overwhelming.
As you drag yourself out of bed for work, you look at yourself in the mirror and can’t seem to get past the “extra weight.” Positive affirmations just don’t work for you the same way they do for your clients.
This unhealthy message that there is only one ideal body type is everywhere.
I mean how could you not feel this way when you're bombarded with toxic beauty standards from Instagram, not to mention those "special" relatives who always have something to say?
You've had a persistent headache, but you won't request time off your agency job due to the pressure of meeting productivity. In addition, there are parts of you that feel like a fraud and you’ve set high standards for yourself to compensate for what you perceive as incompetencies.
When you arrive home, you feel compelled to run that errand for your dad because you don’t want to feel like a shitty person if you don't help, and secretly, the little girl in you still craves his approval.
After a long day, you finally get to sit at the dining table. As you prepare to eat your reheated pizza from Union on Yale, you swipe through the pictures from last week's date night.
You wonder if he's "the one." You're terrified and at the same time hoping it's going to be different this time around as you’ve had your fair share of unhealthy relationships.
I know you strive for perfection and struggle to feel that anything you do is good enough.
You've been trying to seek resolution while being your worst enemy. You've binge-watched 'From Scratch' to relieve stress, hooked up searching for acceptance and affection, and turned to food for comfort. Nothing has resulted in lasting change.
You desperately want and need love. Nonetheless, you're betraying yourself in your need to try to make others happy. You've been feeling like a failure for too long.
Therapy can help you nurture a healthier relationship with yourself.
WORKING ON YOUR HEALING IS THE SOLUTION.
You tell yourself you've been through worse and can get through this too. I know you downplay how bad things are, but let's be honest, if things were that great, looking for a therapist wouldn't even be on your radar.
Therapy isn’t
Therapy isn't a race that quenches your thirst for instant gratification.
Therapy isn't a simplified follow these "5 steps to…."
Therapy isn't a superficial kind of work.
Therapy isn't cheap.
Therapy is
Therapy helps you heal gradually. We aim for progress not perfection.
Therapy requires you to work through uncomfortable feelings and hear hard truths.
Therapy is an invitation to get real, go deep, and be open to making sense of all of your parts.
Therapy is an investment in healthy relationships, the most important, the one you have with yourself.
So, What Exactly Is My Approach?
I know that starting something new can bring about feelings of uncertainty, but just imagine for a moment all the possibilities if therapy was effective?
Connection
Therapy with me is like when you're finally ready to clean out your closet but feel overwhelmed because you don't know where to start.
Although parts of you feel distrustful, worried about being judged, and your protective parts come up, you'd rather give therapy another shot than to remain stuck.
You perceive that I am an attuned, emotionally available, loving person. Something that’s been missing in your life. As we get to know each other, I will get a sense of your past and current struggles including where you'd like to be–we gather the cleaning supplies.
Comprehend
As you're clearing things out from your closet, you find items you didn't even know were there, which helps you gain new understanding and insight. You're grateful you could freely talk about childhood experiences and be validated, as talking about your feelings with your family wasn't an option growing up.
You're starting to piece together how your parent's unresolved trauma blinded them negatively, impacting how they showed up as parents.
Going on hikes with friends, listening to guided meditations, and doing yoga ground you. Self-care is a priority. The direction we're going is becoming clear.
Confront
You're finally ready to come face to face with those things you wish had never happened to you. The guilt and the shame you've internalized for so long becomes evident.
As you go through each piece of clothing, you question whether you want to toss, donate or keep that article. Does that Express blouse that’s collected dust even fit anymore? Are those deep held beliefs even true? Has your identity become wrapped around those American Eagle jeans?
Although it’s nice to dress up in a blazer when you have your therapist hat on, I invite you to come as you are, leisurewear and all.
There is no need for concealing, disguising, or pretending.
Even though these disturbing memories trigger big emotions, I remind you that they will pass, like the Papaya top you loved when you were 21. As reprocessing continues, the emotional charge lessens, making it easier to think about your experiences differently.
Compassion
At last, it feels good to walk into your closet and see that everything has a home now, like items are stored together in bins. You've color-coordinated all your clothes and discovered a different way of being with yourself, you’re embracing self-compassion.
Your life feels aligned. You boldly ask for what you need. You’re able to set clear boundaries that honor you. You see your life through a new lens-- filled with possibilities and new hope.
Cherish
Girl, we both know that you've come a long way. This distorted image you had about yourself has now transformed like a beautiful gerbera raspberry pink daisy blooming in the summer.
You surround yourself with people that uplift you and accept you for who you are as opposed to what you can do for them. You realized this was an inside job all along. Bottling up your own emotions and being disconnected from yourself is a thing of the past.
Cleaning out that closet was genuinely worth it in the end. You’ve stepped into the adult you needed as a child, and that is something special.
BEFORE THERAPY
Anxiety feels unmanageable and you're emotionally exhausted. You push down disturbing memories and are having nightmares. Your inner critic zooms in on all your flaws, defects, and failures.
AFTER THERAPY
Like a tree becomes strengthened when the wind hits the trunk, so does your ability to adapt to adversity. You can self-regulate and recall those memories without the overwhelming emotions or negative beliefs. When self-criticism gets loud, you challenge it.
Hi! I'm Carmen
Psychotherapist, lover of harmonies (Boyz II Men), and river appreciator (Icehouse Canyon Trail).
I’ve been a therapist for over a decade and I can help you move from burnt-out to revived.
I know you’ve gone to the gym, love dancing to Cumbia music, and enjoy journaling, but this has only gotten you so far.
In the same way that a tree needs to be planted in the appropriate environment for it to grow; I will be your guide in discovering the nutrients you need to help you flourish and come back to life.
I assist empaths like you in uncovering deep rooted beliefs and tending their inner wounds so that they can cultivate healthier relationships with themselves and others.
I offer attachment informed EMDR.
WHO IS AND ISN’T READY FOR THERAPY
You're ready if:
You are in the preparation stage, willing and able to invest your time, money, and energy into your mental health.
You see therapy as a necessity and create a budget for it. You're ready to commit to weekly sessions.
You’re not ready if:
Your mental health isn't a priority, you only want to meet when it’s convenient and you just want to slap on a band-aid and call it a day.
Appearances are more important than actually living out how you portray yourself to the world. You don’t want to pay for therapy.
GET STARTED
Discover how amazing you truly are
FAQS
You’ve got questions. I’ve got answers.
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I am in network with Health Net and Stanford Aetna Student Health. I am considered an out-of-network provider for the other insurances. Please contact your insurance company directly to inquire about your out-of-network benefits. I can provide you with a monthly super bill for you to submit to your insurance for possible reimbursement.
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Sessions are 55 minutes long and the cost for an individual session is $250. I accept debit, credit cards, HSA and FSA. Fees are collected at the time of service.
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The length of therapy is on a case-by-case basis, but I do long-term with my clients, which is usually seeing them for a minimum of 6 months for weekly sessions.
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If you have to cancel or reschedule an appointment, please do so 48 hours in advance to avoid a full-service fee charge.